Jan 12, 2006

so i've been thinking...[part deux]

so i've been thinking about death lately.

and since i apparently have some of the smartest friends in the world (that would be you), i decided to share. again.

first of all, i know i'm gonna die. as i think we've already noted, i don't follow the social norm of my age. thus i don't think i'm invincible.

second of all, i know the truth about what happens when you die. heaven or hell. saved or not. christ or self. the choices are clear and simple.

but there are a few things that bug me.

first, the ridiculous. is it wrong to want to be cremated? i don't know about you, but i'd hate to take up space in a plot somewhere. someone asked me where people would then be able to go to remember me.
i said, "build a website."

and also: is it wrong to be secretly not really all that sad when someone you know dies? i mean, i'm speaking solely about people you know to be lovers of Christ. i'm probably the only one, but i'm just wondering.

and: can you lose your salvation? hear me out. lets say i'm saved. and i know it. but then, later, i'm not so sure. then, i die. am i doomed?

i know what some of you would say. "if you end up not being a christian, you never were one to begin with." ok. granted. but then, what if i really believed i was at first, and even for a while after that, but then began to wonder...? if this means i wasn't a christian the whole time, then how can i EVER be sure that i AM one? do you see? how can i be assured of my salvation if i'm not sure whats going to change about me tommorrow?

seems like a catch-22. you can't be sure 'til you're dead, but you don't wanna be dead 'til you're sure. conundrum.

and lets be honest here: i've lost my passion. is God ok with that? if i die in ethiopia next week, are there going to be any small print complications with the whole "book of life" thing? doesn't Christ himself say something about the lukewarm [read: dispassionate]...like "i will vomit you out of my mouth"? yes, horror of horrors, i am asking you what you think i am asking you. don't you just hate it when a guy gets honest? i know i do.

finally, on a seemingly less serious note: if i die...is it wrong to hope everybody has a party? i told allison mayhew that she's in charge of my funeral, just in case. cause i think she has the right idea. a cremation, a party, a DJ, lots of free milkshakes, and wine.
[c'mon, mom, i'm 21 now...my friends should be able to drink at my wake. or whatever.]

thanks for your thoughtful responses to part one. can't wait to see what you've got for me this time.


2 comments:

  1. The things that bug you:
    1. No it is definitely not wrong to want to be cremated (double negative note). In fact, I am in favor of this. If they can't remember you apart from your dead corpse, six feet underneath their feet, then maybe their comment isn't really worth saying.

    2 (aka 'and also'). I feel the same way. Coffee, anyone?

    3 (aka 'and'). I can't really answer this one for you, because I am not a Calvinist and such. But according to your stance, it really is a catch22.

    4 (aka 'let's be honest here'). Does losing your passion imply that you are lukewarm? I don't have an answer. So I say, Selah.

    5 (aka finally). I don't think it is wrong to want a party. But the fact remains that sadness is an emotion God has given us (some of which feel it more than others). There will be some who want to grieve for a time, but then, after-a-while throw the phattest partay. Then people will think your even cool when your dead.

    On a happier note: "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

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  2. and by "I am in favor of this" I mean "I am in favor of cremation"

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