say goodbye to hollywood

hollywood died in my arms yesterday.

she'd been having epileptic seizures over the weekend. we took her to the vet and he prescribed some seizure medication.

less than 24 hours after she started her meds, she had an extremely bad seizure that lasted for several minutes. she rolled around on the couch, almost as if trying to find a position to stop the pain. i held her as gently as i could while still preventing her from rolling off the couch. her heart started beating fast, at a speed more appropriate for an animal half her size.

then suddenly, without warning or any yelps of pain, the seizure was over. and she stopped breathing.

denial: i called the vet. "what can i do?" "nothing, she's gone".
anger: stupid vet and his stupid prescriptions.
depression: i keep getting flashes of her face just after she died. she was still looking at me, those sad, pathetic, "you-don't-feed-me-enough-table-food" eyes.
acceptance: not quite, but soon i'll be ready for another.

four out of five, i guess.

all this just 5 weeks after finally getting her back.

i will miss that dog. thank God there are dogs in paradise.

goodbye old friend.