my family on christmas

pretty sure this is the first "setup" full-family shot we've had since the wedding.

this kind of stuff makes my mom happy. 

enjoy.

Ron Paul supporters...

Ron Paul supporters wait(?) 6 million dollars yesterday. That's incredible. It's even more incredible that people view John McKane(?) as the oldest candidate currently running for president. I think Ron Paul beats him by like 12 years. listen

Powered by Jott

i believe

i believe in relationships.

i believe that you are not judged by how much you have, or how much you accomplished, or even by how much you've given. i believe you are judged by how much you have invested in other people's lives.

i believe that everyone needs, at their very core, someone to listen to them, know them, and love them anyway.

and, of course, i believe that white chocolate is not really a chocolate at all, but a delightful masquerade.

9 Reasons You WON'T Vote for Ron Paul

Whether or not Ron Paul wins the Republican nomination, there are a lot of people who aren't going to vote for him. Here's some reasons you might not:

1. You want to wake up a winner.
Lets face it. In America, we really like to win. I think a lot of people will be paying attention to the polls right around the time it comes to the primary voting, and they'll vote for the most currently popular candidate. A lot of people vote the odds, not the issues.

2. You feel entitled.
Americans who feel entitled to free food or free medical coverage or pretty much anything that the government will give them in exchange for quality, service and a little portion of their freedom will certainly not vote Ron Paul. Dr. Paul tends to attract people that feel entitled to things like liberty and life and free markets and stuff.

3. You feel moral obligations to other, less fortunate countries.
As far as I can understand what these people believe, I can respect their decision not to vote for the Congressman from Texas. Unfortunately, they are misguided into believing that moral obligations are fulfilled by a people's government, rather than by the people themselves.

4. You like kickin' ass around the world.
Admit it. You get high on war. You can't wait to hear that we've gone into Iran. You just wonder why it takes so freeking long.

5. You feel America is God's country.
For some reason, a lot of people have made the following mathematical assumption:
liberty = good = God,
God's command to go into all the world = War on Terror
These same people do very little about the continued Regime of Terror against unborn children in our own country.

6. You are pro-abortion.
I completely understand, then, why you won't be voting for the good doctor.

7. You think that Government Bureaucracies do a pretty darn efficient job.
How do you argue with the person that thinks the government is doing a great job?

8. You think the Government should spend more.
I'm not kidding. I've actually heard people espouse the idea that the government still isn't spending enough of our money. Education, war, drugs, prostitution, medicare, social security, the list goes on and on. People still believe (!) that if you throw enough money at a problem, it goes away.

9. You think that solutions to the world's major problems can be summed up in 30 seconds or less.
Ron Paul may not be the clearest debater of the major Republican candidates right now (though part of that is the fact that he doesn't get nearly as much time as they do to make his case), but I'm honestly a little wary of people that make any of these issues seem like 30 second issues (*cough*Mitt Romney*cough*). Here's the first section of what I would consider to be closer to a real debate on a real issue.

I'm sure I probably haven't changed your mind about who you will vote for in your state's upcoming primary, but hopefully you'll give Ron Paul a second glance. If I have made some sort of impact, visit www.ThisNovember5th.com for a way to help.

memphis musings part II

so recently i kinda decided that i hate memphis.

but i've had the chance to think that over a bit, and i'm not sure its quite true.

here's the breakdown: i'm in memphis, working at a job i don't fully understand. we don't have offices yet, so i work from home for now. the only other person in the company is my boss. we're kind of a long way from everything: long way from our offices, long way from our first sale, long way from a clear direction. and yet i'm supposed to be developing a marketing plan.

also, we don't have a church. at least not one that can match the wonder that is Christ Community Church in Jackson. so i miss that. every week.

amy and i have seen A LOT of each other lately. which isn't bad in itself. in fact, its shown us that we can coexist in a situation all by ourselves and not drive each other absolutely insane. i still enjoy being with her, even now. but still, being in the house all the time, and only knowing one person in an entire town is kinda tough.

i'm rambling. sorry.

THE POINT:
it's not that i hate memphis. it's that i miss my friends so damn much. i'm homesick. i even miss the people i didn't know that well, like BJ and alice and jared (don't know why i picked on you guys...sorry).

and this is especially hard because there's no one around to gloss over the homesickness. i can't cover up the pain by just meeting a bunch of new people.

ok, this is longish, and i know nobody really reads this stuff anymore anyways, but for what its worth: i really miss you.
i miss my dear friends matthew and nick brown. i miss the wilkinsons.
i miss the denkers and the atkins and padelfords and the williams and the williams and the williamsons.
i miss chris, and the garners, and natalie, and J.P., and aaron hardin.
i miss the guthries and the beards.
i miss craig. and ben hickey (i know, i know, he's "the hickeys" now).
i miss certain people whose names i could never remember or never actually learned (gosh i'm sorry about that).
i miss the music, and the occasional pizza night that i would attend, and definitely the mexican nights.

heck, while i'm at it i might as well go even farther back: i miss tyson and brandon. i miss lucas. i miss my brother. and then there's jeremy and melody, jenna, jenni......and dessi and allison the asian and wilhelm and----

you know this could go on. and hopefully you get the point.

what is life but a series of fragile connections and intense longing?

The Most Ironic T-Shirt. Ever.

[via Despair.com]

telephone pictionary

Happy Go Lucky on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

my friend Luz posted this on her blog today. it's a round of "Telephone Pictionary", and i think it might be my new favorite game. for groups. besides nerts, of course.

anyway, before you click on the link, let me explain the game.

1. someone writes a short sentence. anything. they pass it to the person on the left.
2. that person draws a picture, accurate as possible, of the sentence.
1. the drawer then folds the paper from the top, covering the original sentence but not the drawing.
2. he then passes the paper to the left.
3. the next person looks at the drawing, then writes a sentence describing it.
4. he folds the paper down over the picture, then passes it to the left.
5. and so on.

if you have several people playing (more than 5), the results can be pretty hilarious, apparently. ok, you can go look at the image now.

also: we finished moving out of our apartment in jackson. there's something nice about finally finishing something. even if you have to vacuum.

vote for the constitution. vote for ron paul.

Blogged with Flock

strange things happenin' to this blog

you can now watch my (and my wife's) videos,
see the titles of my tumblr blog,
view my latest tags on del.icio.us,
and see my current pick for presidential candidate...

all from this one super-nifty page [see right column].

i love the internet.

strange things are happenin to me

i've been away for quite awhile. i am ashamed of myself. my new job is spent almost entirely on the computer, so perhaps that will be of some help. also, my intention to begin adhering to a more "gtd" (that's getting things done) mentality might help too.

i say "might", for obvious reasons.

so, a lot's happened in my life since we last spoke. let me explain--no, there is too much. let me sum up:

• i got a new job as a producer/videographer for charter media (a cable company)
• i graduated. woot.
• i went to kenya to shoot film for a new company called "fair trade flowers"
• the new company offered me a better job, so i took it
• i quit charter (after 5 weeks!), and became the marketing director for ftf
• subsequently, i applied to an apartment in memphis (where hq for the new job is)
• the apartment complex screwed up, and we lost our apartment. or at least, they told us we couldn't move til august (!)
• we found a new apartment in a southern suburb of memphis. the catch? its in mississippi
• 4 days later, we moved
• now i'm in Houston, enjoying my one-week summer break that my new boss let me take.

sheesh.

just typing that out was tiring. to give you some perspective, all of that happened since the [edit:] end of april.

ok, hopefully that's enough breakfast blogging for a while. if i come up with something interesting to say soon, i'll be sure to post it. i gotta get at least one good one in here.

drat! i'm postmodern again!

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern 75%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 64%
Neo orthodox 61%
Reformed Evangelical 54%
Fundamentalist 50%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 43%
Classical Liberal 43%
Roman Catholic 39%
Modern Liberal 21%

What's your theological worldview?

omfg (on my favorite game)

i've been decently productive lately.



cleaning house, accomplishing homework, finishing projects...things are coming together in ways that they haven't in quite some time.



it's unfortunate, then, that i discovered this.



i think i'm too addictable.

Post 100

Believe it or not, I've been away from xanga for 100 posts and counting.

and i don't know why i've started capitalizing my sentences. maybe its cause i've been writing business emails lately.

speaking of business: i've sold out. i'm packing up most of my freelancing ways and settling into a cushy corporate job with charter communications.

ok, maybe not cushy, but its a "real" salary-type job with benefits, et cetera. as much as i dread the thought of working 8-5 everyday, i'm stoked about the idea of a steady income doing what i love.

oh yeah, the job is making television commercials for local clients. should be fun.

in other breakfast-blog-type-news, i'm sick. i've got the strep throat, so don't be asking for any kisses anytime soon. i know, i know. you'll miss them.

my head hurts. that is all.

LIFE STRESS SCORES

• 0-149 :: Low susceptibility to stress-related illness
• 150-299 :: Medium susceptibility to stress-related illness. Learn and practice relaxation and stress management skills and a healthy well life style.
• 300 and over :: High susceptibility to stress-related illness. Daily practice of relaxation skills is very important for your wellness. Take care of it now before a serious illness erupts or an affliction becomes worse.



i scored a 529.

yikes.

Party!

What: Open house party
Where: Pfost apartment
When: Thursday, March 22
6:30-?

We just moved into a new apartment and would love for everyone to come over and enjoy it. You can come and go anytime after 6:30 for as short or long as you like. We'll have snacks and fresh SMOOTHIES, as well as some games, etc. We also have an incredible guestbook that should not be missed.

a perhaps return

am i back?

time will tell. but here's some newly recorded songs for your listening pleasure. the new ones are the first two in the list:

sparkling stars
&
gravity

My Recent Work

Apple iPhone is actually real?!!!

I am such a geek.

I practically drooled early this afternoon when I saw the images coming from the MacWorld Expo via CrunchGear.

[the MacWorld Expo is Apple's yearly conference where they unveil all sorts of uber-cool stuff. CrunchGear is a website that covers technology, especially hardware and geeky "gear."]

The new Apple iPhone, which won't be available until June and even then will only work with Cingular, is nonetheless an incredibly beautiful piece of hardware.

• There is only one button on the entire phone. The rest is touchscreen.
• It syncs with iTunes.
• The screen "knows" if you're holding it vertically or horizontally, and switches displays accordingly.
• It will hold music, videos, has a 2 Mpixel camera.
• It runs Mac OSX [a full-featured operating system].
• It will allow browsing the internet through a normal browser [Safari].
• I could go on

Sorry. I just think it looks pretty much incredible. Here's a picture for your viewing pleasure:

Oh, and since I didn't mention it, Apple also announced the release of the Apple TV, which lets you stream and store video and music content from your computer to your living room.

Egads! What a day!

I Am My Favorite Superhero! Go Geeks!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 70% Superman 65% Green Lantern 55% Supergirl 53% Iron Man 50% Wonder Woman 48% Robin 40% Catwoman 35% The Flash 35% Hulk 30% Batman 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Death and Biscuits

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.



[thanks, robby!]

The Aliens Have Firefox, 2

This might just be one of the coolest things I've EVER seen...screenshot to left.

Note the machines/vehicles near the bottom...They spell out "FX2".

[via Google Sightseeing Blog]

Help us make the front page!

Digg the VillageFilm!

Please! Click on the link above, and "Digg" the story that appears. If you don't have a Digg account, it will only take moments to setup and you never have to come back.

[Digg is a news outlet where the stories are submitted entirely by users without any sort of editorial input. If we make the front page it could be a HUGE boon to our project. ]

Please help us now!

Chat with Filmmakers

The VillageFilm just added chat capability to its ever-evolving website. Head on over to the Village to see the new chat link.

There is a chat schedule posted on the Google Calendar, as well. Chat capability is available 24/7, but the schedule should give you an idea of when at least someone else will be there. Chats are so much more fun when its more than just you!

Tuesdays at 10pm EST [9pm for us Central folks] is the best time to find us. That's when the story team and I will be there hashing out different ideas. We would love to hear your input directly! Of course you can always simply make a comment from the Village for everyone to see.

Testing the Flock

New browser, just testing it out.

Blogged with Flock

VillageFilm adds Ads, chooses Chat

The website is now ad-supported (through Google's AdSense, what else?). Now when you invite people to visit the site, you're supporting the project with people and money. Sweet!

After some discussion and wrangling, we decided to go ahead and switch to a javascript chat module. Soon, we'll be removing the old chat functionality in the Village's right frame, and instead we'll add a link to a chat module in the navigation bar on the left. The chat module is provided by Gabbly.com , and it's freeking awesome.

Chat will become an important feature of our experience in the near future. The asynchronous communication we've set up is slick (considering that it costs us nothing), but I think it's important to exchange ideas in real time. Hopefully this will help drive traffic to the site as well. Also, it could help increase participation--most people seem to think helping the VillageFilm project will take hours and hours, time they cannot spare. The chat sessions will hopefully show that you can help with the project even if you only have a few minutes to spare.

ACTIONS

• Visit the website, check out our new ad-supported goodness.
• Make a comment about something in story 1, scene 1 [click on script in the Village]. I'll leave the specifics up to you.
  

Editors to begin work on RS&P

It's about time.

The Story Team decided on a storyline, and now it's time for the real work to begin.

We will use Google Docs & Spreadsheets to write the script. We're starting by developing a solid outline of all three story lines, which will make the script writing process that much easier.

For those of you not invited to the actual edit board (you'll receive an email if you are), feel free to make comments/suggestions/criticisms/etc. from within the Village. I've built two forms, one that allows you to comment on the script, and one that comments on the outline.

Below are some key definitions and links.

VillageFilm: the accurate way of spelling/referring to this project, as a whole.
Village Filmmakers : Anyone involved in the process of creating this film.
Editors: Key people with significant power over a specific step they have expertise in.
The Village: the frameset that allows easy access to all the tools we will use in this project.
RSP: Religion, Sex, and Politics (the working title of the film we are making).

Read/comment on the outline
Read/comment on the script
Read other people's comments on either one

[ps: the website colors are (maybe?) decided. I went with a Google color scheme, since that seemed to make sense. Notice the similarity to Gmail, Groups, Docs, and several other Google products. Let me know what you think.]

Storyline Chosen!

NEWS

• the Story Team finally decided on a story idea to work on. again,
just for reference, i am not on the story team, and did not influence
their decision. they've decided that "Religion, Sex, and Politics" is
the concept that seems to have the most potential for our purposes.

• so it's time to start writing! i'll send out instructions and links
tomorrow. if you want to read up on the storyline as it stands, check
out the forum.

ACTIONS

• read the synopsis for Religion, Sex and Politics here.

Website Updated

NEWS
• made some serious behind-the-scenes updates to the website. anyone may now leave a comment about the script, while reading it. they don't even have to have a Google account. all the comments will be hosted on another blogger blog.

• in that vein, the Story team has assured me that the script WILL be chosen by Wednesday night at 9pm. so i'm holding them to that. then we can actually start writing this beast.

• i figured out a simple way to help us browse the comments on the comment blog, if it happens that a lot of people start participating. basically, you find a comment about a scene you're interested in, then click a link at the bottom of the comment, and voila! all the other comments on the subject appear before your very eyes.

ACTION

• nothing. sleep in. if you want, you can check out the updated Village Frames site. try clicking the "Script" link, and see what happens.

villagefilm will double post here

well, the Village Film project is coming along, and I want all of you to know just how well it's going.

which is why, from now on, you'll see the contents of the villagefilm blog doubled here. that way, you'll always know "what's up".

feel free to join the party, if you like.

start at villagefilm.googlepages.com

let me say i'm sorry

you see, it's hard for me to admit it, but...

i've found someone else.

not that you weren't great. you were. you are, even. i'm just...changing. and completely enraptured.

sorry if i don't communicate enough. i'm trying, but she's taking over my life. and i'm loving every minute.

but be not dismayed. she is open to others, too. you could join us, if you like. i know that might be a little weird, and not what you're used to, but...i'm telling you, it's worth it. or at least, it will be.

[where has nic gone? he's here, making a movie. come help him!]

a film project for YOU

this is it, folks. my first official announcement of the latest crazy concept i dreamed up. and now more than ever, this one's about you.

ever notice how the internet these days is all about user input? users tag other user's photos on flickr, internet applications stay in beta for about a million years while collecting "user feedback", there's even a whole internet encyclopedia created by users keyboards!

well, i'm gonna take this concept of a "user-centric" internet and see what happens when you try to make a film with it.

it's called "villagefilm." because, as the former pseudo(actual?)president of the United States would say, "it takes a village..."

The Concept
its completely collaborative, from page one. everybody has input on the storyline we use, the editing process of the script, the storyboarding, the post-production process--pretty much everything except the actual shooting process (which you can actually be involved in if you're willing to relocate to Jackson, TN for a while).

The Process
we will use a number of collaborative internet applications that allow many people to at least give their input on any given step. these applications are, intentionally, all provided by Google. Google, however, has not expressed any endorsement of this project and probably never will. the system simply allows us to use a wide variety of apps without a lot of sign-up processes. the applications we will use include:

Gmail - for communications.
Writely - for the script.
Google Spreadsheets - prop lists, equipment needs, etc.
Google Calendar - scheduling, duh.
Google Talk - live communications .
Google Notebook - for saving a collective of good ideas.
Picasa - to use the web albums.
Picasa Web Albums - storyboarding and production shots/poster concepts.
Google Video - for dailies and trailers.
Blogger - promotional material, production blog, t-shirt sales, etc.
Sketch Up - further storyboarding possibilities.
Google Pages - promotional purposes/the full website.
Froogle - props, equipment purchases.
Google Maps - directions/locations.

The Current Situation
currently, those involved on the project are deciding on a logo for the villagefilm. you can give us your input here. soon, however, we'll start debating story ideas and fleshing out a script. i wanted to give you the heads up now because, well, that's the point. everyone can be involved from page one. [you'll have to sign in to your Google account to leave a comment. if you don't have one, get one]

if you want further updates about this project, keep checking here or send us an email at

villagefilm [at} gmail *dot* com <--protecting me from spam bots. type it in like a normal email address and you should be fine.

looking forward to working with you!

invite a friend!

a spam blogger? me?!?

apparently, blogger's webbots have tagged my "pfostpfilms" blog as a spam blog, aka a 'splog'.

which basically means i have to punch in a word verification every time i post.

think of it. me. your friend nic. an official spam blogger. and not just an ordinary splogger, no. one that has garnered the attention and, yes, punishment of our friend Google. which is ironic, seeing how much i support and depend on Google practically every day.

life is funny sometimes.

i broke xanga! whoops!

so i accidentally broke xanga for some people. didn't realize i had the power.

so this is my attempt to fix the problem.

good luck to me.

finally, finally, finally

after several hours of tinkering, i finally got xanga to accept new posts from blogger.


which means the following:


new posts from me will show up simultaneously at blogger, xanga, and facebook. (FINALLY!!!!)
comments will be disabled on xanga (you can comment on blogger WITHOUT signing up for it).
i'll probably rarely update my layout on xanga (but i do that already, and noone cares...so...).


ALSO--


i'm going to post about a film project that you can have a part in pretty soon. keep your eyes peeled.

also...

i am either a hardcore man-feminist....

or i am at least 60% female.

gross.

curse of normality

i am male.

i am white.

how can i best diversify a classroom, workplace, or other system that will benefit from diversification?



by leaving it.

pixel art to the EXTREME!

http://www.lovepixel.idv.tw/

think of it. starting with a large blank canvas in Microsoft Paint.

then, pixel by pixel, you start to create a building. which turns into a city. which becomes a freeking LANDSCAPE.

this, my dear friends, is the fate of whatever guy did the picture at the link.

the internet is ****

funny. i spent all day online and end up

here.

and i think its the most enlightening (not to mention brief) thing i've read all day.

i think i'll go read a book now.

[and--sorry for the language. it's still good.]

google game

how weird is this?

google has this weird little game thats oh-so-addictive. they pair you with a random person who is also at their site, and the two of you have ninety seconds to label as many images as you can.

for every image you both label with the same word, you get 100 points and move on to the next image.

the images seem to be somewhat randomly pulled from the "google image search ", so don't be surprised if you see a picture of yourself up there.

the idea behind the game, actually, is that it will help google better identify pictures when you're searching for them.

but, really, the game is just stinking fun. at least, fun enough for me to get into the top 100 all-time players ever. go me.

play it here. you don't have to have a google account to play.

Wedding Photos!

find them here.

you know you want to.

you've been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.

now's your chance: making fun of nic galore!!

how you likin' the married life?

lotsa time for thinking.

i think a big part of the reason i was opposed to marriage for so long is because it was different. not being married, in my mind, kept me safer from the rut of normality. if i were to be thoroughly psychoanalyzed, my guess is one of my main fears would be to "fit in too much", to disappear into the vast sea of plain faces and redundant stories.

but i think marriage has actually had the opposite effect. noone in the world will have the story quite like mine, noone will love quite like i do, and certainly noone will enjoy the benefits of marrying such a quietly beautiful person like i do.

dustin martin said something profound to me yesterday: "man, do you even know how lucky you are [that amy isn't high-maintenance]? i mean, i don't even have a girlfriend and i have more drama than i can handle."

which is true. it is good, better than even i had hoped.

so take that, old self. marriage doesn't make you blend in. it makes everything else stand out in a way you'd never seen it before.

now i wonder what 50th anniversaries do to you?

just this side of single

weddings are just a little stressful.

two at once is a lot stressful.

so i'm videotaping joshandkim's wedding later...today, actually. and i'm being videotaped in my own a mere 28 hours later. phew.

just a few things i've learned so far from the whole relationship/dating/marriage thing:

if you want to please yourself, try pleasing the other person.
the only surefire way to get a woman to like you is to be disinterested in her. not act, be.
tall men should marry tall women. that is, if they don't want the tall women getting mad.
women actually like wearing heels, except when they don't.
flowers are only a great idea when they are unexpected. otherwise, they are merely a good idea.
the wedding is the woman's.
genuine, loving compromise may be the most beautiful action humans are capable of.
sex is the definition of biblical marriage. adam and eve married when he "knew" her. so don't go around marrying people.
don't try to figure out if she'll say yes before asking her. that is wussy.
a low-maintenance woman is a gift from God.
do not take advantage of a low-maintenance woman. she is a gift from God, and deserves better.
life is too short to wait to get married. if you can honestly make a life-long committment, what the heck are you waiting for?
have high expectations of yourself, and low expectations of the other person. thus, they will always impress you.
be realistic and disregard that last piece of advice.
be yourself. don't pretend you are what you aren't.

the most important thing i can share with you is this:

if you're going to have a wedding,
have it on a roller-coaster.

this is the ride of your life.

wtfsc?!?

married.

in less than one week.

any final words?

[me: i'm scared exuberant, joyously spitless, toe-tappin' knees-knockin', all colors of crazy excited wiggin' out over here. its good. its real good.]

pulled potatoes

"i just pulled my groin muscle trying to imitate a potato"
--meg (friend of a friend of a friend)

you just never know what you'll hear around here.

the harbinger of death

i don't know how to pronounce the word "daschund".

i'm a reader, you see, and am much more comfortable spelling words than saying them. which can result in some embarrassing moments...if you know what i mean.

i also don't know, apparently, how to post with any kind of regularity.

story of my life: i need more discipline.

my mother, of course, agrees wholeheartedly.

maybe i should start wearing makeup and straightening my hair in the morning. that would be a habit that may effectively restore some of the abilities i once enjoyed.

hrm. one month from today, my responsibility-o-meter clicks to "code level red". which is great, but scary as you-know-where.

some of you may be pleased to know that a third pfostian CD project is currently in the works. the theme this time seems to fall somewhere between love and pessimism.

hm. there might be something to that.

and i don't care what anybody says
i promise you mean more than a dispenser of PEZ
though i have to admit the resemblance is funny
when you tilt back your head and give me some sugar, honey

--a little something i'm working on for "pezheads: the movie". should be...interesting.

...?

anybody remember why we're here?

no longer engaged

so i have class with four girls, all of whom are engaged. there are two of them that i have even sat with from the beginning of the semester.

except that i lied. sometime in the past two weeks, all four of them ceased to be engaged.

some sort of epidemic has seized those around me, and i'm not sure why. but its not something i could keep to myself. its kind of scary, really.

and i'm thrilled that the plague has not struck me.

------
Re: abortion post

thanks to all the people who "got it".

no, i am not an abortion supporter. and no, i'm not just trying to "get people to come to my site so i can make money." i'll have you know that the day i put that post up, i made a whopping 0.01 dollars.

and no, i know of no real scriptural support for the age of accountability. that was my point. i'm not sure i'm ready to take it this far, but i think the point is we don't know where babies go.

thus, this is my problem: if we don't know where babies go, what the heck are we doing just sitting around? abortion is a MUCH bigger issue if some of those kids even might be going to hell.

or at least, that's my take.

join the abortion industry

so here's a modest proposal: Christians should join the abortion industry.

this has two main benefits. first, it is the most effective way to increase the kingdom of God. second, it has positive social effects that support basic Christian values.

Kingdom Expansion
abortion is the second way into heaven, after accepting Christ. the age-of-accountability concept teaches that anyone who dies before they are mentally capable of making moral or spiritual decisions automatically goes to heaven.

this is a situation that we have failed to take advantage of fully.

now, i'm not proposing that we stop sharing the gospel. i'm merely suggesting that we guarantee the salvation of those we are capable of guaranteeing. too many Christians have lots of kids, only to see them grow up and turn their backs on the faith.

if our interest is truly the eternal salvation of as many as possible, we should be the #1 providers of abortion in the world.

Social Benefits
these are really self-explanatory. obviously, it ends the rift between Christians and the rest of the world on this issue at least, which might actually make Christianity more palatable to more people.
it promotes choice for women. choice is one of the basic priveleges of the Christian philosophy, at least for those that are unfortunate enough to have survived beyond their age-of-accountability threshold.
also, it helps keep world population at a manageable level.
one of our responsibilities as Christians on this earth is to manage its resources. less people on the planet (or at least less population growth) will result in more sustainable resources and will reduce needless waste.

Criticisms
the main argument i hear against this idea is that it refuses the opportunity for the unborn to have a choice for their salvation. i have three responses to this.

first, simple mathematics. if someone reaches their age of accountability, there is essentially a 50-50 chance of their eventual salvation. if they do not, there is a 100 percent chance of it. the math is a strong argument for such a concept, IF you truly are concerned about their eternal salvation more than their physical life.

second, i can virtually guarantee that most people in hell right now wish they didn't have a choice. they'd much rather be robots in heaven than free will agents in hell.

finally, i don't believe it is your place to argue with God about who gets a choice and who does not. if He is pleased to save based on age, that is His perogative.

let he who has ears, let him hear.

africa photo story

so my friend kristen nicole is selling a book of her photos of a refugee family from sudan.

these photos are amazing.

and kristen could use the support, since she's moving to europe for a couple months to take more photographs.

you have to reserve your copy of the book by THIS MONDAY. i would get cracking.

[email kristen here.]

the xanga curse [quite literally]

its true. xanga cussed me out.

try clicking on my "work in progress" link in my xanga profile. this is what pops up:

now why is it that this kind of thing keeps happening to me?

this ACTUALLY happened to me--i promise

i was looking for an avenue q song when this popped up:


[the correct song, by the way, was "the more you ruv someone"...which is a little racist, but then, aren't we all?]

[in case you didn't catch it: click the picture and look closely at the "sponsored links" on the right hand side of the screen shot.]


edit:changed song title to actual one. thanks wilhelm!

we are zombies

we are college kids.

we wake up to take naps. we sleep better in the day. we do not know the meaning of "caffeine high", because our bodies don't know any other way of life.

we are the trend-setters.

i can get paid $2 to click some radio buttons in an online survey, just because i'm 21 years old. i might even win $10,000 in their online drawing. because they want to know what i want.

the old guys have it all wrong.

i remember the old guys telling me i didn't know the meaning of "busy" yet, because i'm still in school. i say they can stick it in their ear. we're busier than 90% of the adults i've ever met--we may not be as tied down as they are, or have such a strict schedule, but we are by far the busier ones.

we are the music-makers. we are the dreamers of dreams.

leave it to willy wonka to tell us what we need to hear. we are the now, kids. whats happening out there, to our culture, its our fault. and the good stuff is, too. its time to start making some different music. time to start dreaming some dreams. i don't know what you're waiting for.

me? i'm waiting for summer.

So THIS is how it works...

OK, xanga kids, this is the way it will work from now on.

sorry about the extra click. hopefully it opens in a new window (just click your browser's "x" to go back to your subscriptions).

blogger peeps: glad to be one of the fold.

Google goes Wi-Fi

hooray for city-wide wireless.

too bad its only in san francisco so far.

perfect product?
a Google-based motorola palm-pilot blackberry iPod cell-phone coffee-maker with unlimited minutes and data transfer (and caffeine). the package would be designed by apple, the software would be compatible with windows, macintosh AND linux, and since it's a Google product, the whole package would be available for free (with no service agreement and a minimal number of contextual ads).

if i hear their installing Google wi-fi around here, i'll let you know.

i[crasheda]mac

my new computer:

number of days before i crashed it:
1

amount of excitement now that it works:
8,000,000,000

making the switch

so i figured out a simple way to make the switch to blogspot. you'll still see my posts here, hopefully. so you may not even notice. but i doubt you'll ever see the layout change.

not to mention my blogspot is at www.pfostpfilms.com.

sorry, xanga kids, the facebookization of this place is killing me.

not to mention the fact that i have a love affair with google.

don't tell amy.

my hero

i just to clarify that Dr. David Dockery is my hero.

 

before the soulforce thing went down, he had me and 4 other students that were planning on attending the rally into his conference room to talk about what soulforce had done at other schools and what Union's response would be.

 

Union provided them with box lunches from Heavenly Ham, paid for by private donors (no tuition dollars).

Union allowed them on campus (they didn't have to and two other schools arrested soulforce members for coming on campus).

Union provided police protection (Jacksonites can be a little "rednecky" when it comes to "gays").

Union discouraged students who just wanted to "be on tv" from attending. Dockery explicitly said that going to hear their argument was a legitimate reason for going. going to argue, however, was not.

 

whether or not the Union community will mature at all as a result of this visit remains to be seen.

 

but with a leader like Dockery in place, i think we've got a pretty good chance.

Union does not understand Christ's love

so now i'm quoted in the student newspaper, apparently giving my full support to what soulforce is doing on this campus.

 

i think that requires a little clarification.

 

i do not think that Union University should have to change its policies on homosexuality.

i do not think that SoulForce actually wants to change Union's mind, they just want conflict for the media to see.

i also do not think that anybody should be forced to accept anyone else's views.

i think Union has done a fine job handling this situation so far, and i hope that they will continue to be courteous.

 

at the same time, i am glad that this group is coming to our campus.

 

today alone i have had three conversations about this topic with other Union students. now, i've been at Union for several years, and this has never been an acceptable topic of conversation before.

 

this development is great.

 

lets be honest. everyone here has an agenda: soulforce wants to create a "media frenzy" (as a friend of mine put it), Union wants to avoid a mar on their reputation (by supporting the protesters too much or too little), certain Union students want all the protesters to just accept Christ (which they would say they have already done), other Union students want to "teach the protesters a lesson" (by throwing water balloons at them), and still others want to avoid the issue entirely. These are all legitimate agendas (though some are more mature and responsible than others).

 

i have an agenda as well. it is two-fold. first of all, i want to thank soulforce for bringing the issue up. thus, i will attend their rally and support them in that sense. i am not going to witness, i am not going to argue, i am not going to answer their questions, i am certainly not going to throw water balloons (good grief, Union...grow up), i am simply going to listen to what they have to say and thank them for coming.

 

the second part of my agenda is to take full advantage of this opportunity to TALK ABOUT THIS ISSUE. it has become increasingly obvious that Union students are, as a whole, not ready to deal with this issue outside of our walls. they don't understand it. they don't care about these people as people.

 

Union students, as a whole, do not understand the love of Christ.

 

that's my issue:

1- they'd rather throw water balloons.

2- or pull the 'evangelism' card.

3- or just avoid the issue all together.

 

and quite honestly, until they've learned to at least understand where people like SoulForce are coming from, until they've learned to handle these situations with the love of Christ and not the spirit of antagonism or fear, then i'd prefer they choose the third option.

 

so thank you, SoulForce, for forcing the issue.

thank you for revealing our true, idiotic, juvenile natures.

thanks for pointing out that we have a lot to learn about simple things like grace, and love, and Christ.

 

i'll be out there supporting you on march 18th at 4:30pm by miller tower. i'll pray for sunshine.

and i promise i won't bring any water balloons.

Approved by Student Services

Actual sign on campus:

 

 

IS COLLEGE WEIGHT GAIN

GETTING YOU DOWN???

 

for more information:

Thursday, March 9th, 2006

Outside The Library.

Drawing at 3:00.

 

FREE FOOD!

Buncha Homosexuals

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transsexuals are coming to Union's campus.

March 19th at 4:30pm at the clock tower. they're coming to protest Union's policies on homosexuality. one of their number got kicked out of Union for being a lesbian.

funny thing is, we'll all be gone on spring break.

[except me. i'm coming back, and bringing the protesters cookies, chips and drinks. anybody wanna join me?]

random awards

here's a list of random awards that i'm handing out.
cause i know some cool peeps.
feel free to steal this idea.

most "general cool points": ben bailey
most compassionate person i know: carrie jones
most number of consecutive awkward situations: brandon emerson
most emasculating nickname: brian denker
best filmmaker: aaron hardin
the "i think i'm almost smart enough to understand her" award: kony kim
apparently quiet person that's actually really loud: andy kelly
most brutally honest: lucas villalpando
most likely to laugh at absolutely every attempt i make to be serious: amy cheek
most uncannily like me: walker pfost
most boy trouble: kristen sayres
most awkward situation with a former girlfriend: kyle raines
most likely to remember my uncle's cousin's middle name: julie palmer
most likely to argue with every award listed (including this one): julie laugherty
most likely to let me puke in his car and not care: wilhelm peters
most likely to catch hypothermia: allison wyer
most likely to out-eat me: jirah cox
most genuinely interested despite buttloads of homework: robby gordon
best all-time roomie: matthew zaruba

and finally:
most likely to have the most friends in the world ever in history: jon blair

when its time...

so i've been thinking...sorry.

its time for a change.
change takes choice.
choice takes commitment.
commitment takes sacrifice.
sacrifice takes love.
love gives life.

so i've been thinking again

so i've been thinking...

that i've been thinking way too much lately.

so i've been thinking...[part deux]

so i've been thinking about death lately.

and since i apparently have some of the smartest friends in the world (that would be you), i decided to share. again.

first of all, i know i'm gonna die. as i think we've already noted, i don't follow the social norm of my age. thus i don't think i'm invincible.

second of all, i know the truth about what happens when you die. heaven or hell. saved or not. christ or self. the choices are clear and simple.

but there are a few things that bug me.

first, the ridiculous. is it wrong to want to be cremated? i don't know about you, but i'd hate to take up space in a plot somewhere. someone asked me where people would then be able to go to remember me.
i said, "build a website."

and also: is it wrong to be secretly not really all that sad when someone you know dies? i mean, i'm speaking solely about people you know to be lovers of Christ. i'm probably the only one, but i'm just wondering.

and: can you lose your salvation? hear me out. lets say i'm saved. and i know it. but then, later, i'm not so sure. then, i die. am i doomed?

i know what some of you would say. "if you end up not being a christian, you never were one to begin with." ok. granted. but then, what if i really believed i was at first, and even for a while after that, but then began to wonder...? if this means i wasn't a christian the whole time, then how can i EVER be sure that i AM one? do you see? how can i be assured of my salvation if i'm not sure whats going to change about me tommorrow?

seems like a catch-22. you can't be sure 'til you're dead, but you don't wanna be dead 'til you're sure. conundrum.

and lets be honest here: i've lost my passion. is God ok with that? if i die in ethiopia next week, are there going to be any small print complications with the whole "book of life" thing? doesn't Christ himself say something about the lukewarm [read: dispassionate]...like "i will vomit you out of my mouth"? yes, horror of horrors, i am asking you what you think i am asking you. don't you just hate it when a guy gets honest? i know i do.

finally, on a seemingly less serious note: if i die...is it wrong to hope everybody has a party? i told allison mayhew that she's in charge of my funeral, just in case. cause i think she has the right idea. a cremation, a party, a DJ, lots of free milkshakes, and wine.
[c'mon, mom, i'm 21 now...my friends should be able to drink at my wake. or whatever.]

thanks for your thoughtful responses to part one. can't wait to see what you've got for me this time.

so i've been thinking.

so i've been thinking about passion lately.

 

how does one acquire passion? is passion something that can be attained? when someone is a "passionate person", does this mean that they were born that way, and thus will always be so, or does indicate that they have become something for a time about a certain subject?

 

i seem to remember being passionate at one time in my life.

 

i'm only 21. i'm the at the ripe age of idealism. at this point i should have stars in my eyes and dedication in my marrow. i should be wrapped up in some crusade of my generation to the point of forgetting social boundaries. whatever happened to the characters from the russian novels? i should simply oozing passion. i should wake up in the morning and blow my nose of excess passion and wipe the passion out of the corners of my eyes.

 

at the top of my Gmail screen right now is a "quote of the day" rss feed. the quote today is Robert Byrne. he said, "the purpose of life is a life of purpose."

 

how inane.

 

i mean, we know the truth. the purpose of life is glorifying God and enjoying him forever.

 

the first part is beyond our control. the second, well...how does one acquire that enjoyment?

 

how does one become passionate about God?

theres a big difference between knowing the truth and feeling it. i guess i'm wondering how you turn the first into the second.

 

any ideas?

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Girl gets a name

so i finally named my dog.

i've been calling her 'girl' for a while, which approaches witty, but somehow it didn't seem to fit her well. others thought her name should be "lady" or "keeper" or "samantha joe", all of which are fine names, but again, don't really seem to fit her very well.

then i thought i would change her name to "woman". which could be funny (rather than teaching her to roll over, it would be: "woman, make me a sandwich"). but for some reason, i didn't like feeling like i was making fun of her every time i called her.

then it hit me.

her name shall be 'hollywood'.

and she'll learn to 'roll film'.

its perfect.

I've been tagged. (by thain)

The Rules    

The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a xanga entry about their own 5 weird habits and state this rule clearly.  In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be "tagged" and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "you are tagged" in their xanga and tell them to read yours.

1. i yell "BOX" whenever i'm out west and i see one of those roadside 'call boxes'
2. i jump in puddles when i'm wearing sandals.
3. i practically never step on lines...in parking lots, tiled floors, carpet pieces, whatever...i therefore hate small tiles.
4. i never completely finish these kind of things
5.

I tag....... jirah, amy , brad, tyson, and tyler.

there are a few types of people in this world that drive me crazy:

hypocrites,
liars,
and those people that hate you for having a girlfriend.

fortunately, most people aren't always these things.

and also: i have no reflexes anymore. i just get hit and don't care.

and: i really really like life. this has been, and is, the best
semester of my life.

you can't bring me down.

--ps: ILOVEBRANDONEMERSON!!!

the main characters of harry potter, schindler's list, and life is beautiful all have one thing in common.

 

they have purpose.

 

do you even know how great a treasure that is? have you asked yourself at all lately, "what's the point?"

 

i shall finish school, so i can make money, so i can spend it, and then die.

perhaps, if i am lucky, i will find a spouse and a church along the way.

this is the grand total of pretty much everybody's life.

 

this is also why these films and books sell so well. they've got what we so glaringly lack.

 

maybe entertainment isn't always about "escape from real life." maybe, just sometimes, entertainment portrays a life more real than most of us accomplish in our dreams.

maybe we've got everything all backwards. but that's a side note, and it's free.

 

"it is God who gives us purpose." right? is it not from the great storehouses of God's infinite grace and love that we draw a meaning and purpose from life?

maybe. but if God gives us the purpose, where is it?

"He will reveal it in due time."

when? what if He doesn't?

"then His purpose for our lives is not for us to know."

then this is all a matter of hoping that He may or may not decide to reveal to us a purpose that we may or may not appreciate?

"no. it is a matter of trusting that His purposes are right and good, regardless of our knowledge or appreciation."

so that's it. He promises us at least an unknowable purpose, and at best an unchosen one?

"it is not for us to question His ways. besides, He has, for the most part, made His purposes clear."

oh, you mean to go into all the world, making disciples?

"it is exactly that. and to love God and love others."

very noble.

"thank you."

but don't you ever wonder if there's something else? i mean, what if you're no good at bringing people to repentance?

"it is not you, but---"

the Holy Spirit, yeah, i know, but...look. i've been a Christian for who knows how long and i still haven't been present at a single conversion. God has not used me once.

"perhaps that is not what you are intended to achieve."

but you JUST said that that WAS His purpose exactly!!!!

"some are to plant, some are to water, some are to harvest..."

so i'm a planter.

"perhaps."

great.

"what exactly is your problem?"

it's hard to define, i suppose. i guess i wish i had a purpose that had visible results. otherwise, i feel like i'm spinning my wheels.

"i see."

and i just thought of something: if my purpose is unknowable, which you admit is possible, and i'm not to see any results from it, then how am i to know that i am doing it right?

"you'll just have to trust."

but what if i'm doing it wrong?

"you can't mess up God's purposes."

then what exactly is the POINT of having me do them? i don't get it!!

"you can't mess Him up, but you can choose not to participate."

how do i know if i'm participating if i don't know if i'm doing it right?!?

"i---um--you have to trust."

trust WHAT?!

"that you're doing it....er....that God is doing it right, through you."

that...that doesn't even make sense. all i want is a purpose. something to aim for.

"try being humble."

what?

"you're proud. admit it."

well, now, if i was proud i guess i wouldn't, would i?

"exactly."

ok, yes. i'm proud. i don't see what this has to do with anything.

"perhaps God doesn't want you to see your purpose just yet because your head would swell."

i'm sure. but aren't you just feeding my pride?

"hm?"

i mean, you tell me that God isn't telling me my purpose because it is so magnificient that it would cause me to sin unnecessarily? isn't that sort of self-defeating?

"good point. i suppose its possible that your purpose would be taken as mundane in your prideful eyes."

i suppose that may be true. but then, why hide it? why not let me in on my purpose and break me of my foolish habit?

"but He has already, don't you see?"

what?

"love God and love others. that's your purpose."

that doesn't sound like enough.

"cause you're proud. you're not harry potter, you know. or guido or schindler, or any other man of great purpose."

yeah. it is true that i'm overdramatic. i want to be noble.

"so much so that you flee greatness."

what?!

"greatness is not achieved by doing it all, or by doing it best. it is achieved by doing it for the right reasons."

so my purpose is...
"to love God and love others."

and beyond that...

"anything you want."

that's it.

"that's it."

still sounds too simple.

"God's true mystery is not in His complexity, dearest."

 

and so it goes. somehow i doubt this argument will end anytime soon.

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right

do something right for once

--relient k

who cares if you're a jack of all trades? i'd rather be a master of one.

whats the point of being "generally competent"?

you can handle anything that comes your way, but you have a hard time
being more than half-hearted.

you get good grades, but its because you remember things, not because
you're truly intelligent.

you're not *excellent* at anything--merely competent at lots of things.

and you realize your limits are so very self-imposed. the extent of
your utter laziness gnaws at the back of your mind.

you want so much more from yourself.

"don't be a perfectionist".

don't worry. i'm not.

but sometimes i feel like a waste of talent.

T R 8:00-9:15       Comm Training and Development (aBlair)

T R 10:50-12:05   Comm Law (cBlair)

T R 12:15-1:30     Data Comm/Networking (Welms)

R    6:00-8:45pm  Practical Public Relations (aBlair)

 

that's right, kids:

 

no classes on friday for the third semester in a row.

no classes on monday or wednesday, either.

pretty exciting.

 

except for the fact that these are the four hardest classes in the commArts department.

 

and: that's an awful lot of Blair, folks.

its like that moment at the top of the first hill of your first roller-coaster, just before your stomach becomes weightless as the car drops down the slope, when you're looking out over the tops of so many trees and your mom is sitting beside you screaming her head off and laughing because she knows what she's doing to your poor little stomach and she knows you're going to end up loving it and all you can do is hold on because "mom, please quit" isn't going to work and you just wish the ride was over but you can't wait to see how it all goes down and then----------.

 

lean not on your own understanding...

political science annotated bibliography - 7 hours

two chapel credits - 2.5 hours

promo dvd for work - 11 hours

computer science homework - 2 hours

political science paper - 3 hours

database homework - 2 hours

total amount of sleep - 0 hours

 

getting to go to houston on my very own personal fall break with the lovely and wonderful amy cheek...

priceless.

and its just been one of those days,
been one of those days,
every glass half full,
every drop lemonade.
just been one of those days,
one of those days,
all my worries to bed,
my faith wide awake.
hey, hey, hey,
just been one of those da - ay - ee - ay - ay - ays
just been one of those--
day - hey - heys,
thank You.

--shaun groves

[and while we're in the quoting mood, here's a cool thing someone
wrote to me recently:
"though they may justly accuse us of a multitude of sins, though they
may drag us through the mire of disrepute, or perhaps exalt us with
the praise of saints, let us not allow this: that they call us
complacent." good ol' walker pfost.]

for the next 6 days, just to try it out.

breakfast = 1 banana. 1 glass of milk.
elevensies = 1 apple. 100% fruit juice.
lunch = 1 maruchan instant noodle cup. water.
snack = 1 handful of carrots + 1 handful of broccoli. 100% fruit juice.
dinner = 1 pear. 100% fruit juice or water.
supper = whatever i freeking want. probably pasta.

and, by the way, it's been 16 days without any soda or caffeine of any kind.

here's to the end of the semester!

the only thing i can guarantee, between the two of us, is this:

i will hurt you.

that's it. relationships, romantic or otherwise, are represented by
the exact same mathmatical formula. it looks like this:

1 fallen person + 1 fallen person = 2 fallen people

we don't improve ourselves in pairs or in groups. we are,
unfortunately and irrevocably, imperfect. thats the odd irony of the
aforementioned guarantee. guarantees assume perfection. to "guarantee"
something is to essentially bet that it will work perfectly, at least
for a certain amount of time.

strange, then, that the one guarantee about relationships is that they
won't work perfectly at all. we will all, at one time or another, act
perfectly wrong.

a corollary of this argument is as follows: love is a choice. if you
base your ability to love someone on their ability to please you or
perform their "relational duties" correctly, you're setting yourself
up for disappointment. there is only one personal being in the entire
universe that is worthy to be loved for His relational perfection. He
is worth being loved for who He is. you know what He is?

He is guaranteed.

so stop trying to find it somewhere else. you won't find it in a
pastor, or a teacher, or a discipler, or a leader, or a friend, or a
date, or a spouse, or a drinking buddy, or anything that involves
another person. pastors fall and teachers lie and disciplers mislead
and leaders crumble and friends betray and dates break up and spouses
hate and drinking buddies...well, drink.

your only hope for something sure is That which does not change.

so act like it.

recently a friend of mine told me i should no longer be friends with girls.

like, at all.

funny thing was...the friend is a girl.

hmm...

and i've learned a few things:
--it's really hard to be a good friend.
--i hate drama.
--drama loves me.
--people will almost always surprise you.
--always wear comfortable shoes.
--it's a lot easier to start exercising when its cold outside.
--God still loves me.
--google maps get you lost.
--getting lost can still make for a crazy-awesome date.

i think i've laughed more in the past two days than i have in many months. thank you for that.

once there was a little dog

they simply called her 'girl,'

she was a very special dog,

the cutest in the world.

 

there was a little boy named nic

who loved this 'girl' so much

he fed her, stroked her, made her glad

by his loving touch

 

but forces beyond his control

when asked if girl might share his home

ripped the poor boy's heart to shreds

when they coolly answered, "no."

 

[i think i'll go cry now.]

 

[anybody want a dog? she's only the best, cutest, most wonderful, loving, marvelous dog in the whole wide world. as long as i get to visit.]

goals:

 

finish two movies in three weeks.

sell a full page ad to verizon in student newspaper.

start selling "facebook" t-shirts.

keep a dog.

have 'party of the century'.

FINISH SCRIPT!!! (religion, sex, and politics).

tell my parents i love them (20th anniversary tommorrow!).

compete for shoutfest.

save more money.

make CD.

try not to die too soon.

study the Bible of my own volition.

out with the old, in with the new.

 

isn't it time i started being optimistic again?

sometimes you have to give up the good to receive the best.

sometimes the only way to keep something is to give it away.

sometimes, believe it or not, a little self-sacrifice actually works
in your favor.

and it's better to realize this in advance.

Take My Life and Let Me Be

[an american-truth version]

 

Take my tithe and let it be

satisfact'ry, Lord, to Thee.

Take my cash and let it prove

that I'm filled with naught but love;

that I'm filled with naught but love.

 

Take two hours and let them be

swift and beautiful for Thee

Take my voice and let me sing

Gorgeous, pretty, full and deep;

Gorgeous, pretty, full and deep.

 

If you'd make me rich with gold,

not a mite would I withhold.

Take my moments and my plans,

bless them, make them work as planned;

bless them, make them work as planned.

 

Take my Will and make it Thine,

You'll never have it otherwise.

Take my heart and forcefully,

'cause I'll ne'er give it willingly;

'cause I'll ne'er give it willingly.

When I was about 7 years old, tramping to school in the calm grey
weather of Denver, Colorado, college was an eternity away. In fact,
there was this 12-year-old kid at the end of the street—well, I call
him "kid" now; at the time, he seemed as grown up and free as I would
ever be. His name was Kevin, and he made me certain I wanted to be 12
when I grew up.
When I finally made it to my twelfth birthday, I thought of it as my
last year of childhood. The teenage years were upon me.
At thirteen, I couldn't wait to drive.
Sixteen rolled around, and suddenly those eighteen-year-old guys with
thick facial hair and girlfriends seemed the most serious and
authoritative people in the world.
Eighteen, and for a brief moment I thought I had arrived—I was
enrolled in the draft. The moment passed when Gillette sent me a razor
for my eighteenth birthday and I still had no facial reason to even
open the package.
That awkward, in-between twentieth year—not yet full-fledged adult and
yet no longer teenager—flew by in seconds.
Saturday, now at age 21, I attended the wedding of my close friend Ben
Williams, who is 27, and marveled at how young I still feel.
Twenty-one, a senior in college, working two jobs and living in a
house, you'd think I'd be past looking ahead all the time.
But I still catch myself looking at the Ben Williamses in my life and
thinking, "Someday, I'll grow up. Someday, I'll be complete."
It seems the habits of seven-year-olds die hard. I'm still finding
twelve-year-old Kevins to aspire toward.
I don't think I can argue that looking ahead in life is wrong, per se,
but I will attempt to convince you that it's a big waste of time.
The first fallacy here is assuming that it is even possible to
"arrive" in life. It's a nice thought, but a few conversations with
even your oldest acquaintances will clarify the unfounded nature of
such a concept. It simply never happens, at least not in this life.
Another problem with this kind of thinking is that it causes us to
always be comparing ourselves with others. We find the Bens and Kevins
in our life and cling to the idea that if we just had what they had
(age, job, wife, whatever), we'd be complete.
This is a dangerous state of mind.
Always focusing on where we aren't keeps our attention from where we
are. You can't drive somewhere by focusing on the destination. You get
there by paying attention to the turns and street signs and road
rules.
Typically, the "Christian" remedy to our natural struggle with this
mindset is to remind ourselves that "we don't really arrive until we
get to heaven."
This is not, however, a true solution. It is merely a spiritualization
of the problem.
Thinking that heaven is the "arrival point" is a problem in two major ways.
First, it trivializes the journey, in the same way thinking that a
diploma is the only important thing at this point trivializes the many
things you will learn in college that will have nothing to do with
that little slip of paper. I fear that there are far too many of us
that would jump at the opportunity to take a pill and put the next few
years in fast forward, if it were possible.
Second, the "heaven-is-the-end" mindset trivializes heaven itself. I
hate to break it to you here, but there is no indication that you will
be perfect when you get to heaven. You will not "have arrived" when
you cross through those pearly gates.
Sinless, yes. Painless, sure. But omniscient? Omnipresent? Omnipotent?
No, nope, and not a chance.
And at the very least, if you are not omniscient, it will mean that
you've still got something to learn. And if you've still got something
to learn, then you're not "arrived," yet.
I wonder if it will be possible to be jealous of people that have been
in heaven longer than us, getting a head start on whatever it is we'll
be trying to figure out up there.
If you ask me, it seems the best thing to do is realize that this
whole thing's just one big long journey. You won't "arrive" when you
graduate, or when you get married, or get a house, or a career, or
retire, or even when you die.
Instead, look at it this way: we're just hitchhiking through life, and
at some point in the next 60 years or so we'll find ourselves, not at
the end of our journey, but rather joined bodily by the One who put us
on the journey in the first place.
This is how, I think, He is able to be both the Beginning and the End.
Because there really aren't any Beginnings or Ends. Just Him.
So if you're like me, and you just can't wait for whatever's coming
next in life, remember this: that thing you've been waiting for, it's
called Today.

hehe... 

we played chubby bunny. i will never eat another tootsie roll. 

nick brown is a funny kid. 

hey! that's my hat... 

jes beat me at chubby bunny...that girl has some BIG cheeks... 

PDA!!!! 

ain't she just the cutest little thing?!? 

the brownies, sad to say, did not last through the night. 

i guess if they don't come bigger from texas...they come cuter. 

there were like...30 people there. 

Edward: this is an invitation from the queen, to the duchess, to play croquet.

 

Nigel: oh, i see. it's an invitation from the queen, to play croquet, to the duchess.

 

Edward: yes, you see, it's an invitation to the duchess, from the queen, to play croquet.

 

Nigel: oh, you mean an invitation to play croquet, to the duchess, from the queen.

 

Edward: well. i wouldn't 've put it quite like that, but...it'll have to do, i suppose.

 

Nigel: very well.

 

 

 

[ah, the joy of prepositional phrases]

i hate fluorescent lights.

not all lights are created equal.
when God said, "let there be light," He meant natural, warm, incandescent light.

fluorescents light the dark corners of hell.

a few weeks ago, i went to indiana for business.
we drove there. 14 hours.

the next week, i went to illinois, on business. i flew there.
the job involved driving a rental ALL OVER ILLINOIS. 40 or so hours.

the next weekend, i went to see brandon before he left for seminary.
jonesboro: little over 2 hours.

i also took a trip to kentucky to celebrate 4th of july with canadians.
ekron: 5 hours.

two weeks ago, i went to florida on business. i was supposed to fly,
but then they made me drive.
sarasota: 15 hours.

last week i went home.
it's a 10 hour drive.

on the way back from home, i had to bring a car to nashville from
jackson that day...complicated story, but the grand total for the
drive back from home was:
17 hours.

if you just take the times listed above...and you double the ones that
involved a return trip...

it's 139 hours.

in the car.

driving.

in the past...oh...6 weeks or so.

that's over 5 and a half DAYS. as in: 24 hour periods.
it's 17 work days.
3 and a half work weeks.
8,340 minutes.

perhaps this explains why last month's phone bill listed me at over
4300 minutes (72 hours).

i guess i was lonely.

i hate stagnation.

i hate treadmills. you run and run and run and run and the scenery never changes.

sometimes life feels like that. you know what i mean. you wake up one morning, look around, and it hits you. this scenery never changes. you've been doing the same old same old for who knows how many years running. and you're not satisfied with it.

the grass is always greener.

this is why, i believe, we idolize and sanitize the past. the past is always better to us now, because the past was different. rarely was it actually better.

this also explains why we are so anxious for the "next things" in life to happen. like right now, i'm ready for the summer to be over. it's a stupid thing to wish for, actually. i have zero effect on the speed with which the summer's end gets here, yet for some reason i feel it necessary to comment on how i am "ready for it to be over." it's senseless, really. why not just enjoy the summer?

not that i don't, mind you. i like a summer as much as the next guy. my point is, part of me wishes the summer was over and the semester was here, and when it is, that same part of me will wish the summer had never ended.

the grass is always greener before or after today.

but you know what? it isn't true. life is not a treadmill.

it's an ocean.

sure, you can run all day and the scenery will never change. and that's incredibly frustrating. but that's merely the psychological disadvantage to living in a ocean. it does not change the fact--the fact--that you did, indeed, travel.

all you lack is a point of reference. a buoy. land. something that is fixed, that can assure you that you are traveling in some direction.

whether or not it's the right direction is an entirely different conversation.

i'm beginning to realize, i think, that it's not so much a lack of buoys, it's that i don't pay attention to the ones i pass on a regular basis.

the grass is never green until you stop comparing it to another yard.

thanks, God, for buoys.

so i went to florida and stared at women in bikinis through a viewfinder all week.

and i sunburned.

 

then i came back to school and moved off campus.

and now i'm peeling.

 

tomorrow i go home to visit for a few days.

then, perhaps, i'll tan.

 

and somehow, through it all, God is very, very good.