the main characters of harry potter, schindler's list, and life is beautiful all have one thing in common.

 

they have purpose.

 

do you even know how great a treasure that is? have you asked yourself at all lately, "what's the point?"

 

i shall finish school, so i can make money, so i can spend it, and then die.

perhaps, if i am lucky, i will find a spouse and a church along the way.

this is the grand total of pretty much everybody's life.

 

this is also why these films and books sell so well. they've got what we so glaringly lack.

 

maybe entertainment isn't always about "escape from real life." maybe, just sometimes, entertainment portrays a life more real than most of us accomplish in our dreams.

maybe we've got everything all backwards. but that's a side note, and it's free.

 

"it is God who gives us purpose." right? is it not from the great storehouses of God's infinite grace and love that we draw a meaning and purpose from life?

maybe. but if God gives us the purpose, where is it?

"He will reveal it in due time."

when? what if He doesn't?

"then His purpose for our lives is not for us to know."

then this is all a matter of hoping that He may or may not decide to reveal to us a purpose that we may or may not appreciate?

"no. it is a matter of trusting that His purposes are right and good, regardless of our knowledge or appreciation."

so that's it. He promises us at least an unknowable purpose, and at best an unchosen one?

"it is not for us to question His ways. besides, He has, for the most part, made His purposes clear."

oh, you mean to go into all the world, making disciples?

"it is exactly that. and to love God and love others."

very noble.

"thank you."

but don't you ever wonder if there's something else? i mean, what if you're no good at bringing people to repentance?

"it is not you, but---"

the Holy Spirit, yeah, i know, but...look. i've been a Christian for who knows how long and i still haven't been present at a single conversion. God has not used me once.

"perhaps that is not what you are intended to achieve."

but you JUST said that that WAS His purpose exactly!!!!

"some are to plant, some are to water, some are to harvest..."

so i'm a planter.

"perhaps."

great.

"what exactly is your problem?"

it's hard to define, i suppose. i guess i wish i had a purpose that had visible results. otherwise, i feel like i'm spinning my wheels.

"i see."

and i just thought of something: if my purpose is unknowable, which you admit is possible, and i'm not to see any results from it, then how am i to know that i am doing it right?

"you'll just have to trust."

but what if i'm doing it wrong?

"you can't mess up God's purposes."

then what exactly is the POINT of having me do them? i don't get it!!

"you can't mess Him up, but you can choose not to participate."

how do i know if i'm participating if i don't know if i'm doing it right?!?

"i---um--you have to trust."

trust WHAT?!

"that you're doing it....er....that God is doing it right, through you."

that...that doesn't even make sense. all i want is a purpose. something to aim for.

"try being humble."

what?

"you're proud. admit it."

well, now, if i was proud i guess i wouldn't, would i?

"exactly."

ok, yes. i'm proud. i don't see what this has to do with anything.

"perhaps God doesn't want you to see your purpose just yet because your head would swell."

i'm sure. but aren't you just feeding my pride?

"hm?"

i mean, you tell me that God isn't telling me my purpose because it is so magnificient that it would cause me to sin unnecessarily? isn't that sort of self-defeating?

"good point. i suppose its possible that your purpose would be taken as mundane in your prideful eyes."

i suppose that may be true. but then, why hide it? why not let me in on my purpose and break me of my foolish habit?

"but He has already, don't you see?"

what?

"love God and love others. that's your purpose."

that doesn't sound like enough.

"cause you're proud. you're not harry potter, you know. or guido or schindler, or any other man of great purpose."

yeah. it is true that i'm overdramatic. i want to be noble.

"so much so that you flee greatness."

what?!

"greatness is not achieved by doing it all, or by doing it best. it is achieved by doing it for the right reasons."

so my purpose is...
"to love God and love others."

and beyond that...

"anything you want."

that's it.

"that's it."

still sounds too simple.

"God's true mystery is not in His complexity, dearest."

 

and so it goes. somehow i doubt this argument will end anytime soon.

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right

do something right for once

--relient k

who cares if you're a jack of all trades? i'd rather be a master of one.

whats the point of being "generally competent"?

you can handle anything that comes your way, but you have a hard time
being more than half-hearted.

you get good grades, but its because you remember things, not because
you're truly intelligent.

you're not *excellent* at anything--merely competent at lots of things.

and you realize your limits are so very self-imposed. the extent of
your utter laziness gnaws at the back of your mind.

you want so much more from yourself.

"don't be a perfectionist".

don't worry. i'm not.

but sometimes i feel like a waste of talent.

T R 8:00-9:15       Comm Training and Development (aBlair)

T R 10:50-12:05   Comm Law (cBlair)

T R 12:15-1:30     Data Comm/Networking (Welms)

R    6:00-8:45pm  Practical Public Relations (aBlair)

 

that's right, kids:

 

no classes on friday for the third semester in a row.

no classes on monday or wednesday, either.

pretty exciting.

 

except for the fact that these are the four hardest classes in the commArts department.

 

and: that's an awful lot of Blair, folks.

its like that moment at the top of the first hill of your first roller-coaster, just before your stomach becomes weightless as the car drops down the slope, when you're looking out over the tops of so many trees and your mom is sitting beside you screaming her head off and laughing because she knows what she's doing to your poor little stomach and she knows you're going to end up loving it and all you can do is hold on because "mom, please quit" isn't going to work and you just wish the ride was over but you can't wait to see how it all goes down and then----------.

 

lean not on your own understanding...